We’ve all seen it in films: the family gathered in a wood-panelled office while the solicitor reads out the will. Cue gasps, tears, maybe even an argument or two. Wills can feel very final, very formal — and, if we’re honest, sometimes a little cold.
But here’s the truth: not everything fits neatly into a legal document. Life — and love — is messier than that.
That’s where a statement of wishes comes in.
Unlike a will, it isn’t legally binding. No solicitors or judges will enforce it. But it’s still one of the most powerful documents you can write. Why? Because it’s your chance to speak directly, in your own words, to the people who matter most.
Think of it as the human side of planning.
- Want to explain why you’ve made certain choices in your will? A statement of wishes does that, gently.
- Want to leave guidance for your trustees — not rules, just suggestions? That’s exactly what it’s for.
- Want to make sure your best friend gets your favourite necklace, or that your dog stays with the cousin he already knows and loves? This is the place.
- Want your funeral to be more sunflowers and jazz band than hymns and hushed tones? Say it here.
A will sets out the legal facts. A statement of wishes captures the feelings.
The beauty of it is its flexibility. You can update it as life changes, without expensive solicitor visits. You can keep it private if you want — it’s not a public document like a will. And it can cover everything from digital passwords to who waters the plants.
Of course, the important bit: if you want something to be legally enforceable, it has to go in your will. A statement of wishes guides, comforts and explains — but it doesn’t carry the force of law.
Still, for many families, those words are just as vital as the legal paperwork. They soften edges, clear up mysteries, and stop the sort of misunderstandings that can linger for generations.
In the end, a statement of wishes is exactly what it sounds like: your wishes, written down, simply and kindly. And sometimes, those are the words that matter most.
Five Most Common Things to Include in a Statement of Wishes
- Personal belongings – sentimental items like jewellery, photographs, letters or family heirlooms that you’d like to go to specific people.
- Funeral wishes – preferences for music, readings, flowers, or whether you’d like a simple service or a celebration of life.
- Children and guardianship guidance – thoughts on how you’d like your children raised, or advice for their guardians.
- Pets – who should look after them and any special routines or needs they have.
Explanations behind will decisions – clarifying choices that might otherwise cause confusion, such as unequal gifts to children, or reasons for including or excluding certain people.
