Every now and then, someone from our past pops into our head completely out of the blue. Not a grand figure or a lifelong soulmate, but someone who, in their own slightly chaotic or maddening or quietly determined way, shaped us. We may not have understood it at the time. In fact, at the time, we probably rolled our eyes and muttered under our breath. Yet years later, there they are again, hovering in our thoughts, and we suddenly realise they mattered far more than we ever told them.
Take the classic first boss. It is almost a universal experience. Most people start out in their early jobs convinced they have life more or less figured out. They are young, quick, enthusiastic and just slightly allergic to criticism. Then along comes a boss who seems to spot every single thing they have missed. Back the work goes. “Think this through.” “Check that again.” “Start over.” At the time it feels like a personal attack. You imagine the boss is probably a tiny bit delighted to torture you.
But then life cracks on. You grow. You gain experience. And one day, usually at a moment when you are handling something tricky, you catch yourself being calm or thorough or quietly confident, and the penny drops. All those early corrections, all those “could you rework this please” moments, were actually shaping you. That boss you thought was unbearable was, in hindsight, one of the best teachers you ever had.
What is funny is that the people who make the biggest difference often have absolutely no idea. They think they are doing their job. They think they are being practical. They certainly are not standing there thinking, “I will become a defining figure in this person’s life.” They are probably just hoping the kettle hasn’t broken again.
It makes you wonder how many influential people walk around completely unaware that someone, somewhere, is quietly grateful for them.
There is a lovely story about a woman who sent her old boss a card years later. Nothing dramatic. Just a few sincere lines about how much she had learnt and how those early days, tough as they were, had shaped her whole career. Her boss replied with a slightly wobbly message saying she had never known she mattered like that, and that the card was one of the kindest things anyone had ever sent her. Imagine that. All those years of influence, and she had never once realised she had made that kind of difference.
These things happen more often than we think. One woman once joked she was an overnight success. It had only taken twenty years. People were congratulating her as if she had suddenly sprouted wings. What moved her most were not the public celebrations or magazine features but a message from someone who had known her during the long, uncertain years. They said they had always believed she would make it, even when she doubted herself. They had never had a reason to say it before, but watching her shine made them want to tell her. She kept that note tucked inside a drawer and read it whenever she needed reminding that success is rarely a solo journey.
Then there is the friend who cried when he heard that his old headteacher had died. This is a man who had spent years laughing about how strict the headteacher was. He would tell people how the man practically glowed with disapproval and seemed to have a sixth sense for nonsense. But underneath the jokes was something tender. That headteacher had pushed him, believed he was capable of more, and refused to let him coast. Only years later did he understand what a gift that had been. The regret came from never telling him. It is a powerful lesson. We assume people know. They often do not.
Parents, too, are often the last to realise their influence. Many spend years worrying they did not do enough or get everything right. Yet a simple message at the right time can be one of the most meaningful things they ever receive. A daughter once wrote to her dad at the beginning of her career, telling him how grateful she was for the confidence he had instilled in her. He was not expecting it. He probably thought it would be a quick “hope you are well” sort of note. Instead, he got a small, heartfelt thank you. He kept it safe, folded neatly in a drawer with a few other treasured things. These messages stay with people. They become part of their story.
The truth is that many of us carry unsaid gratitude. Not intentionally. Life just gets busy. We assume people already know how much they meant to us. We imagine they understood how their influence shaped us. But most of them do not. People walk through their days quietly doubting themselves just like we do. A kind word would make them glow.
This is one of the lovely things about writing a note. It does not have to be long. It does not have to be beautifully written. You do not need to craft a speech or pour out your deepest emotions. A few words can genuinely lift someone’s day. They can even lift someone’s year. And they can ease that small ache we feel when we realise we left something important unsaid.
Very Important Notes was created for exactly this sort of moment. The simple human act of saying, “You mattered to me,” or “You helped me more than you know,” or “Thank you for being the person who pushed me, believed in me, or stood by me.”
A little note can travel a very long way.
And receiving one can be unexpectedly powerful.
So maybe this is your nudge today.
Think of someone whose influence still sits quietly in your life.
A mentor, a teacher, a parent, a boss, a friend.
Someone who shaped the person you became.If they popped into your mind while reading this, that might be your sign.
A small message could mean the world to them.
