Joy could be sharing a Memory…
Memory loss in later life can be attributed to various illnesses, such as Alzheimer's disease, and dementia, often conditions are often progressive leading to forgetfulness, confusion, and difficulty in recalling recent events or information.
However, individuals experiencing memory loss may still encounter moments of clarity, wherein they briefly regain lucidity and recall memories or recognize loved ones. These moments can occur spontaneously or may be triggered by familiar stimuli, such as music, photographs, or cherished objects, providing glimpses of their earlier life and happy memories
How Kerry found moments…
Anyone meeting my miserable aunt Joy could be forgiven for having a sneaky snigger at the irony of her misnomer.
She’d been known to open her door to me on my fortnightly visits with greetings of ‘Oh look at all your wrinkles!’ or ‘How much weight have you put on?’. And I forgave her always, because I retained memories of a different aunt in my earlier years as her only niece.
I can remember the two of us cutting up long strips of pasted wallpaper and rolling them around knitting needles to make beads that were then fashioned into hippy door curtains. I remember the smell of the herbs and spices she used in her home-made soups and casseroles, the smell of patchouli oil in her linen cupboard and the Bromley lemon soap in her bathroom. I remember us hearing an unannounced song on the radio, walking to the local parade of shops and both humming fragments of it to the bemused man in the record store in the hope that he could name that tune. I remember us running in from her garden covered in the caterpillars that had invaded and fallen from the ancient plum tree there, or waking up in a caravan in Point Clear and seeing the winkles that we’d collected in sandcastle buckets the day before, making their escape up the walls and over the formica ceilings.
So she wasn’t always the curmudgeon she became when I grew up. Forming my own opinions on the world and becoming independently mobile irked her. I had the feeling that the more I experienced, the less she liked me.
Every new experience I had, created another fissure in our relationship until its was so broken that it was unrecognisable as the loving bond we’d had when I was an almost blank canvas, easily impressed and impressionable.
Hanging on to those happy memories is what kept me coming back for the verbal onslaught that awaited me in her last 40 years. And as her only relative, it seemed to me that she spent the time between my visits, thinking up new ways to insult me.
Joy didn’t suffer from dementia, just a general disregard for other adult people and their thoughts and feelings.
But for families who have loved ones suffering from dementia, this unpredictable shift in personality can be severe, sudden and shocking. The dynamics of the relationship changes beyond all recognition and at high speed, sometimes from minute to minute. It can become harder and harder to find the joyful memories that cemented a lifetime of love, kindness and care.
And during this heartbreaking time, It is most often left to the grief-stricken loved ones to hang on to remembered moments. How much nicer would it be for the person losing their precious memories and for those who have to witness that, to know that they have been journaled and left where they can be found and shared. How comforting would it be for all of us to have those special and personal stories kept safe, to share and rejoice in together in any event.
Very Important Notes could leave a memory to share how grumpy may not always have been grumpy, there may be an illness, or an opportunity to share a memory.
Many people with dementia or similar issues often have moments of clarity. A Very Important note could be a simple card to the person sharing the memory from times gone by which in a moment of clarity could bring Joy to Joy….
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Download and save a free memory card to give to a loved one
