The Hidden Shifts: Understanding How Age and Illness Can Alter Personalities

Life, with all its unpredictability, has a way of surprising us in unexpected ways - not always in a good way but always something to learn from. It may be something happening to those we care for - in particular, age and illness can bring about profound changes, not just to our bodies but to our very essence.

Often we can think that someone is just getting grumpy, but how you deal with it can greatly affect the outcome. It’s easy to forget, amidst the frustration and heartache, that the person we knew and loved is still there, underneath it all. Whether the change is through loss of confidence, pain, or even medicines, remembering this and approaching with kindness can make all the difference.

The Quiet Transformation

Imagine a vibrant, talkative person whose presence lights up any room. Now picture this same individual, years later, struggling to find words or retreating into silence. They haven’t chosen to change; age has crept in, subtly altering their cognitive abilities. This transformation can be disconcerting for loved ones, who may feel as if they’re losing someone piece by piece. Yet, it's crucial to understand that beneath the changes, their core self remains.

Illness can have an even more drastic impact. Conditions like Alzheimer's or Parkinson's bring about not just physical challenges but also significant shifts in personality. A once patient and gentle person may become irritable and impatient. This can be heart-wrenching, but recognizing that these changes are symptoms of their illness, not a reflection of their true feelings, is key.

The Heart of the Matter

It's easy to get lost in the frustration of these changes, to mourn the person they used to be. However, what they need most is compassion. Every altered reaction, every forgotten memory, is a testament to the battles they are fighting internally. Empathy becomes our greatest tool in navigating these new dynamics.

A Lesson in Kindness

In these moments, kindness is not just a virtue but a necessity. Small acts of patience and understanding can bridge the gap between the past and the present. When faced with a loved one who has changed, remind yourself that their essence – their soul – is still intact. They still crave love, understanding, and connection, perhaps now more than ever.

Practical Steps to Show Kindness

  1. Listen Actively: Even if the conversation is repetitive or nonsensical, your attention reassures them of their value.

  2. Be Patient: Understand that their frustration often stems from their awareness of the changes within themselves. Your patience can provide a calm anchor in their turbulent experience.

  3. Engage in Their Reality: If they believe they are in a different time or place, gently engage with them there. Correcting them often causes distress and confusion.

  4. Celebrate Small Moments: Find joy in small victories and moments of clarity. These instances can be precious for both of you.

Embracing Change with Compassion

Age and illness might alter the personality of someone you love, but it’s important to remember that at their core, they are still the same person. Approaching these changes with empathy, patience, and kindness can transform what could be a source of pain into an opportunity for deeper connection. By embracing these shifts with love, you honour the person they were, are, and will always be.

If you have similar or specific stories about how you dealt with changes in a loved one, or how you got to the bottom of the issue, we’d love to hear them. Sharing these experiences below can help us all learn and support one another through these challenging times.

 
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