The words we carry around, the people we think about, and why sometimes it’s worth saying them now.
There are things we say easily.
Happy birthday. Congratulations. Thank you. Sorry for your loss.
And then there are the other things.
The things we think about on the way home. The things we nearly say when we’re sitting across the table from someone. The message we start typing and then delete.
The things we assume there will be another time to say.
The friend you haven’t spoken to for far too long
Nothing happened.
No argument. No falling out.
Life just got busy. A few missed calls became a few months, then somehow a few years.
Every so often you see something that reminds you of them and think, I really must get in touch.
You don’t need a reason.
You can simply say:
I think about you more than you probably know.
Sometimes that’s enough to begin again.
The person who made a difficult time easier
Perhaps they checked in when other people didn’t.
Made you laugh when things weren’t particularly funny. Turned up. Brought food. Sat with you. Or simply carried on treating you normally when life felt anything but normal.
They may have no idea how much it mattered.
Thank you for making hard days a little easier.
Some thank-yous deserve to be said, even years later.
Someone you’re enormously proud of
A son or daughter. A friend. A partner. A parent.
Perhaps they’ve done something extraordinary.
Or perhaps they haven’t.
Perhaps you’ve simply watched the way they’ve handled life. The person they’ve become. The kindness they’ve shown. The things they’ve got through when nobody else really knew how difficult it was.
We often feel pride much more frequently than we express it.
I hope you always know how proud I am of you.
But why leave them to hope they know?
Tell them.
The person who’s having a horrible time
Sometimes there genuinely isn’t anything useful to say.
Someone is ill. Grieving. Going through a divorce. Has lost their job. Is frightened about what happens next.
We worry about saying the wrong thing, so sometimes we say nothing at all.
But perhaps they don’t need an answer.
Perhaps they just need to know somebody is sitting beside them, metaphorically or literally.
I don’t know how to make this better. But I’m here.
That can be one of the most important things you ever say.
The person you’ve done life with
There are people who become so woven into our lives that we almost forget to tell them what they mean to us.
A husband or wife. A sibling. An old friend.
They’ve been there through houses, jobs, children, disasters, holidays, arguments, ordinary Tuesdays and all the strange twists life has taken.
One day you look at them and realise:
Of all the people I could have done life with, I’m glad it was you.
That’s worth putting into words.
The birthday card that says something real
Birthdays give us a perfectly good excuse to tell somebody we love them.
Yet somehow we often end up writing:
Happy Birthday! Have a lovely day!
There’s nothing wrong with that.
But perhaps this year you want to say what you actually think.
Another year older. Still one of my favourite people.
A birthday can be an occasion.
The message can be much more than that.
The thing you’ve started saying a hundred times
This one might be harder.
Maybe there’s something you’ve wanted to explain. An apology you’ve never quite made. A thank you that’s overdue. Something you need somebody to understand.
You’ve rehearsed it in your head.
Started the message.
Deleted it.
Decided it was too late.
Then thought about it again.
I’ve started this sentence a hundred times. Maybe this is the time I finish it.
It doesn’t have to be perfect.
It just has to be true.
Find the words. Say them now.
Most of us have somebody we could say one of these things to.
Maybe someone came into your mind while you were reading this.
That’s probably worth noticing.
At VeryImportantNotes, we help you take what you’re thinking and feeling and find the words for it, in your own voice.
You can write or talk. Tell us the messy version. The half-finished version. The I know what I mean but I don’t know how to say it version.
We’ll help you organise your thoughts and find the words.
Then you can send them as a note, turn them into a card, or save them for another day.
Although sometimes, another day isn’t really the point.
