Dolly Dorms: Grow Old Disgracefully With Communal Living

Does the thought of a traditional care home make you cringe? Does the idea of living alone feel like a recipe for loneliness? As we age, our living options often seem limited and less fun. But what if there was another way?

Where Do You Want To Live?

A good friend of mine recently moved into a luxurious, exclusive care home. She embraced the motto, "you can't take your money with you," and indulged in every comfort available. However, despite the high-end amenities, she found herself feeling isolated. The daily Afternoon Tea was nice, but many residents suffered from dementia or cognitive decline, leading to repetitive, unstimulating conversations. She described each day as "Groundhog Day," a monotonous cycle lacking the stimulating conversations and laughter she longed for. She found herself feeling lonely in the midst of luxury.

This wasn't her vision for retirement. She wanted to have fun and live life to the fullest with her friends—her "Dolls."

Could A Dolly Dorm Work?

As a teenager in London, I remember visiting my friend's 'old' East End aunts, who turned out to be far from boring. What started as a dreaded evening transformed into one of the most memorable nights, filled with lively conversations and pub-hopping in Earls Court. These aunts, who couldn't remember our names by the end of the night, affectionately called everyone "Doll," a nickname that stuck with our friend group.

Years later, wiser but just as spirited, we Dolls gathered on New Year's Eve to toast our friendship and discuss our future. We wanted to grow old disgracefully, so we dreamed up the idea of a Dolly Dorm—a communal living space where we could pool our resources, buy a house, and enjoy our golden years together, indulging in everything without holding back.

While the idea of Dolly Dorms does tend to skew female—it's a concept that came up during a girls' night out—it could certainly work for couples or men as well. The principles of communal living, shared values, and mutual support are universal.

An article in the Daily Mail reminded me of this concept. And clearly others are thinking along similar lines.

Not a return to student living!

While dorms and shared housing are typically for younger generations, often characterised by tight budgets and limited life skills, Dolly Dorms can redefine this concept for the better. With our unique skills, we can create a fabulous communal living experience. Imagine dinner parties prepared by the culinary experts among us, afternoon teas from our talented bakers, and beautiful gardens tended by our green-thumbed friends. The events and activities we could host together are endless!

Downsizing Without Compromise

Many Baby Boomers own large homes that become too big to manage as they age. Instead of dealing with the upkeep of a large property, why not consider living in a gorgeous suite within a communal setting? There are many amazing hotels designed for just this purpose, offering luxurious private suites alongside shared communal facilities. This setup provides the perfect balance of privacy and community, ensuring you have both personal space and social interaction.

Could Help With Alzheimer's: What The Science Says

Early studies suggest that social activities can delay Alzheimer's Disease and prevent cognitive decline. Cohousing, in particular, has shown promising results in improving these outcomes. Living well for longer is a significant benefit of cohousing, supporting both mental and emotional health.

How Do Dolly Dorms Work?

Shared Values

The essence of a Dolly Dorm is co-living based on shared values. Whether it's a focus on sustainable living, a love for social gatherings, or shared spiritual beliefs, having a common vision is crucial. Diversity in interests is welcome, but a shared core value ensures harmony.

Common Spaces

Communal living should have shared spaces such as kitchens, lounges, dining rooms, and gardens. Additional shared amenities like gyms, yoga or art studios can enhance the living experience and specific concessions such as hairdressers, beauty or cafes. These common areas foster social interaction, community engagement, and active lifestyle, essential for a fulfilling community.

Assistance Over Caregiving

While care homes offer access to qualified nurses, cohousing should not place caregiving responsibilities on housemates. Instead, Dolly Dorms might hire communal assistance like cleaners or occasional carers. Each Doll can contribute their unique skills, whether it's cooking, walking the dogs, making cocktails, or leading karaoke—after all, it's a Dolly Dorm! This creates a supportive environment without dependency.

Is A Dolly Dorm Right For You?

Consider the implications - cost, lifestyle, and companionship. Dolly Dorms can offer a fun, rewarding, and stimulating lifestyle, but it's not for everyone. Clarity on the shared vision is vital to making a Dolly Dorm the perfect place to grow older—gracefully or not!